I went to my nephews’ Commencement last night.
The first one I’d ever been to.

I’d never been to mine because I hadn’t commenced.
It was inspiring. How to make a difference. Giving back. Setting goals. They gave advice about going out into the real world.
The real world. They shouldn’t prepare you to enter it – they should tell you how to avoid it.

I imagined them showing a film clip – a trailer for an upcoming new horror film release…

Fade in: camera pans down a row of house in a suburb. It closes in thru the window of a home.
We see a soccer mom trying to use a Swiffer.
It pans to the husband, a toilet plunger in one hand, a soggy mass of used tampons in the other, and a look of zombie-like resignation on his face.
Camera pans to a Juno –looking, teenage girl, as she turns to father and whines, “I thought they’d just flush down, OK”?!
A Goldendoodle canine leaps into frame grabbing the tampon mass from the dad’s hand and runs down the hall as a sniggering male “tween” Flip-videos the tableau.

Camera pulls back out from the window to show the front of the house as the electric garage door suddenly opens. The rubber weatherstripping on the bottom is rotting and the rubber hangs in pieces that look like little black teeth, making the opening door look like an evil mouth.

Fade to black and movie title appears: